Why Didn't I Start Saving In Utero???

According to Wallet Pop, an online investment calculator, in order to retire with a million dollars at age 65 I need to start investing $1,036 per month. Done. I just need to sell my house, move into an RV, and start really appreciating Ramen noodles. If I would have started at 16, I could have retired a millionaire for $339 per month. Better yet, If my parents had started investing for me from the age of 1 it would only take $144 per month to live out my golden years in style and comfort. I definitely need to start generating more income if I want to be able to afford a proper midlife crisis, which I am going to have prematurely if I keep thinking about how unprepared I am for retirement. At least I can still count on the Lottery.

Kareem kicks my ass in the 21st century

Frankly, Kareem taught me too much. namechk, soundcloud, extendr, RSS, hootsuite, tweetdeck, VEVO, kickstarter, does your brain hurt yet. Of course it does. Will I make use of some or much of this all too relevant information in the near future? You're damn right I will! How else will I compete with some eighteen year old kid for the gigs I want to get, and the fans I want to bedazzle? The answer is there is no other option, get ahead of the pack in internet technology, or get swept under the tidal wave. I already used namechk to grab some dustinkiels on myspace, soundcloud, and will grab some more soon. I will soon start using extendr to consolidate my online presences, and will soon after that start using hootsuite to automate and consolidate my tweets and twitters. After that I need to start getting RSS feeds of the blogs and sites I want to be updated on regularly.