Why Didn't I Start Saving In Utero???

According to Wallet Pop, an online investment calculator, in order to retire with a million dollars at age 65 I need to start investing $1,036 per month. Done. I just need to sell my house, move into an RV, and start really appreciating Ramen noodles. If I would have started at 16, I could have retired a millionaire for $339 per month. Better yet, If my parents had started investing for me from the age of 1 it would only take $144 per month to live out my golden years in style and comfort. I definitely need to start generating more income if I want to be able to afford a proper midlife crisis, which I am going to have prematurely if I keep thinking about how unprepared I am for retirement. At least I can still count on the Lottery.